Our {first} NICU Return

Last week was our {first} return to the NICU that Trent stayed in when he was born. Ugh my heart strings just tug at the thought of that place. Even just walking into that hospital, entering that elevator brings back all the memories. The {last} time we were in that elevator was leaving to finally go home! I felt like when we were leaving the NICU, it was finally the end of running a marathon and I was catching my breath again. Once finally home, I held my boy for hours and hours. Soaking in all the moments I missed.

{our last photo by the NICU}

This time in that elevator was different, it was only for a visit, a happy visit, to give a simple thank you to the nurses and staff that cared {so} much for our sweet boy. That NICU becomes your family, no matter how short your stay is, you never forget every single little moment in that NICU as a parent. Oh my word. Just approaching that hallway, approaching the door, brought back all the memories! I remember being pushed in my wheelchair, or myself pushing my wheelchair, swollen dinosaur feet and all, doing anything to get to that boy as soon as I possibly could. I knew he wasn’t alone, and he needed to rest, but as a mama how do you leave your baby??

I picked up that phone, for what felt like the hundredth time, this time just to say “we brought cookies for you all,” instead of the phrase we always had to say, “I am the mother or the father of baby boy O.” This time just looking in the window by the door, seeing those sinks we washed and scrubbed our hands in, the closets that hold the gowns that had to be worn, each and every time. This time we weren’t allowed in {obviously}, but my heart just feels for the families in there. Feeling exactly how they felt. I hope as a parent I never have to step foot back in there again. 

I am so thankful for the doctors, the nurse practitioners, the nurses, everyone in that NICU that treated our boy like their own. I can tell each and every one of them are doing what they are meant to do in life. I will never forget each person explaining what was happening when they knew what was happening. Our {first} moments, the first time we held our baby, the first bath, the first bottle, the first time I breastfed, the first time we changed a diaper, the first time we got to put socks or a shirt on him, everything was in that NICU and all side by side a nurse. I will never forget all the cords, the beeping monitors, the moments monitors would go off and make my heart just sink, crying each time he cried and I couldn’t pick him up, crying every time I had to leave him there. I remember the looks the nurses would give as comfort, or the kind words said. 

We brought cookies. In reality, that is just a tiny thank you compared to what they deserve! I’ll never forget our stay in the NICU, or seeing all the other parents experiencing the same thing. All I did was hope each and every baby in there would be okay, that we all make it out of there with our precious bundles. No one wants to be there. No one wants to watch their child suffer. No one wants to become part of that NICU family, but once you are, you never forget who was there. Thank you is all our little family can say!

PS how cute are these cookies?! I think my eyes literally have hearts in them!😍😍😍

Cookies by Mary Contrary Cookies. @MaryContraryCookies

About

My name is Chelsie Overgaauw. Born in New Mexico, grew up in California, and now living my adult life in Texas. I am a 26 year old stay at home {new} mama to my sweet boy and I am married to my best friend. I have experienced a lot in life already, good and bad, and have a lot more to experience. I am a lover of cooking, writing, photography, and design. Follow along to learn more.

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